One of the hardest things to do is to tell a loved one “I can’t.” Some people believe that anxiety is just a fake, made up condition that people use for attention or lack of. I am here to tell you otherwise.
I miss doing the grand ol things such as: football games, gun shows, baseball games, hunting expos, car expos, Sons graduation, daughters choir concert, etc….. Those are the things that your kids expect to experience or wish to experience as their journey through life begins to develop.
It is extremely hard when you attempt to attend something for your children and you make a scene. It all started after I returned from deployment. Let’s be real. I had a pretty safe deployment, which makes my case even worse. Once I got home it seemed like nothing felt secure besides the walls of my house and backyard.
I would try to go out for birthday dinners, a date with my wife, or just a simple workout session and it felt like the whole world was enclosing on me. All the walls around were closing and fast. It was time to escape. My heart rate sky rocketing, shortness of breath, sweating, and my throat closing. It was a panic attack from hell. It didn’t matter how big or small the crowd was.
We would walk into a grocery store during slow business hours and the same thing, it was like I had to run out of there as if someone was trying to take my life. My ability to take care of my family with me was no more and it was all about survival of the fittest. Time to go.
The good thing is that now I have learned how to avoid places that I know sets these attacks off, but I can’t always turn it off. I just recently made a trip from Texas where I live to Michigan where I am from to visit family. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I thought about turning around because I was out of my comfort zone. The issue is that I love to travel, or at least did, and I love to visit with family that I haven’t seen in a long time.
As of right now, I am on the journey to discover ways to beat this horrible condition of anxiety without medication. I have noticed that doctors are quick to prescribe stuff, but it seems that everything that they prescribe gets me violent and I start dreaming about killing people and myself. If anyone out there has any pointers to naturally defeating this issue of Anxiety, I am all hears.